Diet? Me? I thought that word was reserved for those looking to lose a considerable amount of weight, perhaps 20+ pounds.

I’m trying to lose about ten pounds, but I would prefer to just look more toned than a rail. Let me share with you my weight (or lack there of) past. For a large portion of my life I struggled to make it to a normal weight and generally failed and stayed fairly underweight for years. I was a skinny, bony kid who spent long hours trying to put together outfits to cover my hip bones and my stick legs pair with gigantic feet. I suppose puberty needed to have its laugh and make me such an awkward looking teenager. Parents and teacher would comment on my lack of cushion. I wasn’t anorexic, I did eat small meals, but I just wasn’t a very hungry kid. I had anxiety which never does well on the appetite but I was definitely not anorexic. I because the opposite. I looked in the mirror and saw a skeleton with a flat ass and a board chest (compliments of the school bullies). I was an active kid and teenager. I played sports, track and field and was on the volleyball teams. I avoided wearing shorts at all costs. I remember going to school one day in 7th grade wearing the cool “tartan skirt and Doc Martin” combo and being called chicken legs before 9am.

So I spent years covering up the skinny with baggy pants and baggy shirts. Looking like a little boy thanks to my short hair. Towards my 20s I started to finally wear more fitted clothing and started to accept the goods god gave me. And then it happened… I turned 22.

I stepped on the scale one day for a laugh and saw something I had never seen before. 135lbs. “What?!” You may say? This was a FIRST for me. Spending my teenage years hovering between 100-105 I was not 135. Well that was a shocker. That was definitely not a number I wanted. And for the first time and ever since in my life I’ve been trying to LOSE weight. It’s still a new concept to me. Since that fateful day my weigh have been bouncing around from 135 to 112, 120, 130, 125. Now I rest at 130lbs.

Now you might say, “Candace. how could you even think 130lbs is even a problem?”. I shall answer, “I have never looked this way in my entire life, I am not used to it in the least and I want to know I’m healthy if it has to be that way. There is definitely a nice layer of fat surrounding my body and it’s time I take charge. I’m only getting older and it’s only going to be a body work out from here on in to keep looking good. Gone are the days of eating anything and everything I wanted. It was amazing while it lasted.

So I’ve been trying to find ways to battle this weigh dilemma. Do I diet or do I work out. Do I do both? Is cardio the secret to fat burning? Will weights make me a ginormous manlady monster? One friend tells me to do this, another to do that, read this book, that book, are carbs the monster? How about calories? HOW MANY CALORIES?! My head is swimming.

So here I am today and I’ve decided to change my diet how I want to and I’ve seen a few pounds shed off. I’ve decided to pay more attention to my protein and fat intake and less on my caloric intake because let’s face it, calorie counting will be the end of you, me and everyone we know. I’ve been eating breakfast (gasp! eating MORE food?) of oatmeal with cut up apple and honey. I’ve cut down but not cut OUT all sweets/chocolate. Bread is now minimal. Tuna is on the rise and berries are in the hizzouse. I’m going to report back in a month and let you know what’s happening. I will be doing yoga and exercises as well. The least I can ask for is more energy and just feeling healthier all around.

I managed to see a few people and go out and do what I wanted. It was relaxing for me and there was no pressure. Basically I’ve become overly concerned with seeing people while I am here that I’m not enjoying myself and worry about other people too much. If I can do it and see people I will, if I can’t then I can’t and hopefully I’ll stop getting mean messages from people about my lack of seeing them. I just don’t have enough time and energy to travel all over Toronto every single day, more than once, to see people (who I really would like to see by the way). I’m just too tired to do it! I need relax time. Perhaps if I had my license it would be different, but I don’t and I am a tired gal.

I also think my trips home of a week aren’t long enough. I need a week of family time and then a week of me time. Does that make sense? A week isn’t long enough to fit in enough home time goodness without sacrificing a lot of things in order to make every one happy.

This week I went to Sneaky Dees, AGO, Gabby’s and a Dashboard concert. I guess that’s alright for the amount of time I had.